Meet My PersonalTrainer: Mr. Clean

Confession.

I have had an affair going on in my life for 40 years or more. It isn’t the kind of affair that can ruin a marriage, or one that you keep secret, but it isn’t one that anyone outside of my thought life  knows about. Read on if you want the gory details.

In the cleaning category I am a bit of a ‘freak of nature’. I believe in all natural products, I’ve made many of my own cleaning supplies since the 70’s. My sister’s family calls me  things like “Lavender Lover”, “Hemp”, “Auntie J the vinegar lady”. While cleaning out Roxy the new trailer yesterday, I found a half used bottle of white vinegar and I knew it was ‘KIZMUT CLEANING KARMA’. We were made to be together, destined for a whole new clean future.  Well, the unfortunate truth was that the grunge that can only happen in a ‘Man Camping Elk Trailer’ vinegar and dish soap and baking soda just wasn’t cutting it. Literally. Gummy greasy stuff just got kind of a sticky-soupy, but didn’t leave the surface on the rag when I scrubbed at it.

1967 Lo-Liner Stove

Turquoise stove and appliances in 1967 Aristocrat Lo-Liner

I was huffing away in the 90 degree sweatbox when my mind started to wander the way it can in a mindless task. It was then that I remembered him.

Mr. Clean. Maybe it’s the inner bad girl in me that wants the muscle bound, white Tee-shirt clad earring brandishing, arm crossed across the chest pleasant man, but whatever it is, he’s on my mind. I think about that distinctive scent of his, the way that neon lemon-green looks on him, the power I feel when we are together. I don’t know, but that cleaning product, Mr. Clean is intoxicating to me when I pour a slug of the toxic liquid onto a magic eraser sponge and just wipe away grime. No scrubbing, just an easy monotonous rubbing and wiping that leaves a gleaming surface behind even on things I can’t believe disappear. Things  like magic marker, and the six inch circle of something I was kind of afraid of but that a straight ammonia soak didn’t touch, paint over-spray and other carbuncles of cleaning despair.

It was after 7 straight hours of bonding with my Genie, a toothbrush, magic eraser sponge,  a filthy rag and mechanic strength rubber gloves,  that I realized something this man of great physique  had done for me…no other man had. This investment of time together between just he I showed me something. I had biceps again. The kind of aching biceps any weight training babe would smile at when she made a Popeye pose in the mirror. Ya sure, my back ached and my head was a little funny from the heat; the smell of my own armpits as I cleaned the ceiling offended my feminine senses, but I caught a glimpse of my bulging bicep in a wall mirror in the trailer. All this focused low rep work had transformed my bicep wobble into a  steely ball of bulging power to be reckoned with.

I was powerful in the hands of Mr. Clean. I looked 20, 15, or even 10 years younger. I had MOXY.  For a minute I fell in love with my personal trainer like a student and teacher. The crush made me flush, drunk with the power of life. Oh, Roxy and Mr. Clean you are transforming me as much as I am you. This is a beautiful relationship.

Mr. Clean - My personal trainer

Who needs Zumba when you've got Mr. Clean?!

24 hours later I sit typing and I wonder what product is out there that will work on my aching back, sagging middle, and sore knees when I finish scrubbing the rest of Roxy today? Yesterdays 30 something  in the mirror is todays 2nd cup of coffee and a pain reliever looking for motivation and a personal massage therapist. Yet deep in my heart, the love affair continues and I look forward to the next CLEAN adventure. That is the stuff that keeps this dream going. New adventures at every corner and a chance to become all that I can be. Living today in a vintage way.

I’ll love you always Mr. Clean.

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11 comments on “Meet My PersonalTrainer: Mr. Clean

  1. Kary -"Louise - Lou" says:

    Oh Moxy, Roxy and Mr. Clean…. Baby you got it all! I love your 2 cuppa coffees and pain relivers later…. I am so enjoying this journey with you… because frankly, I am not in the heat of it.. yet I am part of the heart of it! cause I am part of your heart!
    YOU GO… by the way.. I am sure… significantly positive that if you sent your story into MR CLEAN.. you probably would win some serious free coupons…..Im just saying if you dont submit it… I will Thelma!
    Love you girls… Roxy with the Moxy and Jmo with the….Roxy with the Moxy… haahaaa

  2. Kristina Tornow says:

    Love it 🙂 I think a years supply of Mr. Clean is in your future 🙂

    • vintagerover says:

      Hi Kristina! If I get a years supply of Mr. Clean I tell ya what I’m going to do, I will pass out lots of free samples to be used on my future projects LOL Thanks for your support friend.

    • Kary -"Louise - Lou" says:

      How can I get in touch with the marketing manager for one of your products?
      Published 02/27/2003 03:06 PM | Updated 12/21/2009 05:19 PM
      How can I get in touch with the marketing manager for one of your products?If you’re interested in providing marketing services to P&G, please complete the Marketing Services Supplier Application Form. You’ll find the application in the B2B Directory on our corporate website at: http://pgsupplier.com. You can also learn about our corporate values and principles, as well as the basic facts of doing business with us at this site.

  3. Sharon says:

    OMG Kary, I totally agree with you! As I read along I was laughing out loud & thinking “I’ll bet Mr Clean has never, ever, gotten a love letter like this before!

    Jalet, my hat’s off to you for seeing the potential for a world of fun in this old girl!!
    Happy trails to you!

    xox,
    Sharon

    • vintagerover says:

      I am so glad you popped in Sharon. Just knowing you are peeking in, gives me extra creative juice. If this blog made you chuckle, this addendum at the end of a long day will make you wince. I scrubbed one entire side of the mossy outside today, top to bottom with a toothbrush, a spray bottle of magic and a rag. Then after scrubbing it and drying it, I buffed it out. I am SO old tonight, but the windows, the side panel and the adorable port hole windows are thick hairy moss and grunge free. I have a vision for Roxy the Aristocrat. Contemporary, vintage. She is patiently awaiting the paint phase. I am not feeling as patient. I would like the clean up to give way to the decorating. Patience Vintage Rover…Patience.

    • Kary -"Louise - Lou" says:

      Sharon,
      Alone you are inspiration… are you serious…. I get to be a innocent creative bi-stander next to you creative wonderful women… encourage on baby !

  4. Kary -"Louise - Lou" says:

    This all reminds me of Eliza Doolittle.. the transformation to aristocrat…..
    The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plane…da da dum dum…

    Hey Roxy is a very English Name… if you mean Roxanne.

    • vintagerover says:

      MY FAIR LADY I chose her name “Roxy’ because it is such a departure from the stuffy image of ‘Aristocrat’, but it still had a ring to it. “Roxy, the Aristocrat”
      I had an Eliza sense about her myself. I wasn’t trying to make her something she isn’t, she IS an Aristocrat who can look stunning in the right gown, but she is a girl you take for a beer and home to mother and the family picnic as well. It’s funny that you noticed that about her too. Her mother would have named her RoxAnne, but her friends call her Roxy.

      “The rain in Spain, falls mainly on the plain.”

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